Sent Here to Change the World

I was sent here to change the World
But I’m afraid that my message was lost
On a world that could not see
On people who could not feel
On friends who could not trust

I was sent here to heal the World
But I’m afraid that my powers were too weak
To open all the eyes that would not see
Comfort all the hearts that could not be comforted
Console all the souls that would not be consoled

I was sent here to teach the World
But I’m afraid that my methods could not
Teach those who refused to learn
Speak to those who did not listen
Reach men who would not be reached
Change minds that did not want to be changed

I was sent here to bring Love back into the World
But I’m afraid that the world was too full of itself
People were not ready to let go
Of the things they cherished more

There is no room for Charity when Greed is around
There is no room for Humility when Pride is standing tall
There is no room for Kindness when Envy reigns supreme
There is no room for Happiness when Despair overshadows it all

I was sent here to change the World
But I’m afraid the World has changed me

The Day Has Come

Blood is all I know
Blood is all I see; it’s all I taste
That is all that pulses
Through my ears and eyes

I close my eyes and all I see is red
There’s nothing else to see
Nothing else to do but endure the pain

Pain….Pain…

Pain has become my only solace
It is the only friend that stands by me
Those I relied on have run away
Those I loved have abandoned me
Those who believed in me have turned away

Not only has my body been beaten
My spirit has been broken
My soul has been wrenched from me
I have been rejected by those who followed me
I have been ridiculed by those who once praised me
I have been abandoned by the one I trusted

There’s nothing more to say
There’s nothing more to do
I have no more tears to wash away your sins
I have no feeling to wipe away your pain
I have no more words to soothe your conscious
You are on your own for the time being

Until I return....for you

On The Night Before He Died

I’m sitting here, watching them.
They are laughing and sharing this meal with me.
I can see it in their movements, in their eyes, in their laughter.
They have no idea what this night brings with it.
I know I have to tell them.
But how do I?
How can I?

We’ve grown so close.
They have become a part of me.
I love them so much that I can’t bear it.
How do I tell them that tonight is the beginning of the end?
How do I tell them so that they will understand?
How do I tell them so that they don’t desert the plan?
How do I?

I look into their smiling eyes
And I am lost in my sadness.
I can’t hear their chatter and bickering
Without choking down my tears.
These are my friends; they are my brothers.
Who will take care of them when I am gone?
How can I leave them?
How can I?

Will they even remember me once I'm gone?
Or will I simply disappear from their memory?
I don’t want to leave them.
I want to stay with them.
Don’t make me abandon them.
Don’t make me!

I can’t help but worry about them.
They followed me to this place.
They trusted me like I trusted you.
There is so much they don’t understand.
There is so much more I need to teach them.
They aren’t ready to go it alone.
I’m not ready to let them go.
I can't let go.

Why must it be tonight?
Why can’t I have one more year?
I can do so much more with another year.
I can touch so many more people in that year.
They can become so much stronger in that year.
I’m sure I’ll be ready to let them go then
If you gave me just one more year.

The world was not ready for me now.
If it was, I wouldn't have been turned away.
No one understood the message.
No one believed enough in the message.
If I had one more year, I could have made them see.
Just one more year....

But I know it’s too late to turn back now.
I must finish what was started.
The night must fall
For the New Day to begin.
I’m not ready to let go
But I must.
I must.

If Only I Could Laugh

I just told them of my upcoming death
And they bicker amongst themselves
As to which of them is best qualified to take over

I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad

Do they not realize that I’m standing right here?
That I can hear them?
That I know that none of them
Is as ready as they think they are?

I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad

I told them so they would pay better attention
But, I tell them one thing
And they hear another
I show them one thing
And they see another
I give them love and attention
And from that, they grow ambitious

I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad

My time is coming to an end and I’m no closer
Than I was when I started this journey

I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad

Judas, The Betrayed

Judas was not only betrayed by his pride, jealousy, self-importance, ambition, etc., he was betrayed by his need to be seen and heard and appreciated and acknowledged by The Master, by his Teacher, by his friend.

I imagine that Jesus knew Judas more than Judas knew himself. Jesus knew the character of the man he had chosen to sit beside him, to journey with him, to share his table, to share his life’s mission. Knowing all this, I wonder if Jesus felt a certain detachment toward the one who would hand him over to die. I certainly would.

I imagine that Judas would not have known the role he was given to play. If he did, I doubt that he would have accepted it. All Judas knew was that he was personally picked by Jesus. He was trusted with the management of the finances for the group. He was “second in line” to take over. While he felt important and relied upon—for these were truly important roles—he may have also felt Jesus’ personal detachment toward him—something that could only be interpreted as a form of personal rejection. After all, he was second in line—not first.

He could look around at the other apostles and see how he was better than the rest. How could Jesus not see that? Was the Man as blind as those he cured?

How does Judas, who sees himself as Jesus’ chosen one, justify this type of rejection?

• To be always there yet never be fully appreciated
• To be seen yet not justly heard
• To follow yet never be given the chance to lead
• To give up his life to serve Jesus yet not be adequately rewarded for it
• To offer his talents yet having them never completely accepted
• To know the potential within him but not be given the chance to develop
• To be promised greatness for his devotion and dedication yet receive nothing in return

I can imagine that Judas was filled with jealousy that fueled his need to prove himself. He wanted Jesus to see him as his sole confidant and advisor—better than the rest. He longed for that recognition—to feel important and needed. This desire so filled his head and heart that he had no room left for Jesus’ words—for Jesus’ mission. How frustrating that must have been for both Judas and Jesus.

Yes. Judas did not trust Jesus more than himself; therefore, Judas was left in the dark.

• To hear but not understand
• To see but not recognized
• To follow but not know where he’s going
• To strive to better the world but his efforts misdirected

When his words fell on deaf ears, he turned toward those who seemed to be more powerful and more eager to listen. In the end, he was used by those he turned to for help and became despised by the rest of the world, for generations to come.

Yes. Judas was as much the betrayed as he was the betrayer.

And while his kiss turned the world against him, his tears went unnoticed.

.

Peter's Pursuit

Why choose me?
You must be mistaken
You must look elsewhere for what you seek
Call someone else to follow you
I cannot do what you ask

Are you sure it’s me?
I am but a simple man
And a flawed man at that
I am only a fisherman
Not a fisher of men

What do I know?
I only believe in what I can see
And I only see today
How can I put my faith in your promises
When I cannot see what tomorrow holds

Why choose me as your rock?
I am not strong enough
I am not stable enough
I am not trusting enough
I am not confident enough
I am not enough

What do you see in me?
I see a man full of doubt
Full of fear; full of confusion
What is it that you see that I cannot?

Why change the plan?
You called me to follow—not to lead
I am afraid I will let you down, again
I am afraid I will disappoint you, again
I am afraid that I will deny you, again
I am afraid

How do you love that much?
How do you give so much?
How can I love like you?
How can I?

How can I carry on without you?
I never understood the love you possessed
I can only give in response; not give to give
I can only love like a man
I am only a man

John the Baptist’s Sacrifice

I saw him in the distance with his disciples
I was so excited to see him
Because he was coming to see me
To listen to me, to be with me

There were so many people around
So many wanting my attention
So much that I had to do
That I couldn’t stop for him

He continued coming my way
Soon he will be in front of me
What will I say to him?
How should I address him?
What did he need from me?
How can I help him?

He was with me for but a moment
I wanted to spend more time with him
But neither of us has that luxury
We both have our parts to play
I am only to prepare the way
Not take the journey with him

As he grows in influence, mine diminishes
I realize that my time is coming to an end
Just as his is beginning
Our time together grows short
He must accomplish what I cannot

I must let him go on his way
While I stay behind,
Envying those who will follow him
Jealous for the time they will have with him

Watching him in the distance
I can only place my trust in
The day we will be together again
Where his time will be mine and mine will be his

Will You Come and Follow Me?

I’m at a crossroad in my life
There are two paths ahead of me
One that leads to a nice little nest
The other leads to an unknown quest

There is a high cost
In choosing between the two
I can’t go forward and stay the same
I must give up a part of myself in this game

If I stay on my current path
I will have the security
Of knowing that things will
Continue as they are—void of thrill

If I take the unfamiliar path
I will lose the comfort that I’ve known
And the protection of the
Success that I have sown

If I take the new path
I will gain untold growth
Excitement of a new beginning
And the enrichment of self-fulfillment

This decision would be easy
If it was just I in this clutch
But my life is connected
To all those I touch

If I drop everything to follow him
I will gain questionable success at best
And sleepless nights of wondering
Who suffered due to my blundering

How can I throw away what I have
For a dream that I may never hold
With paralyzing doubt questioning
What this man’s quest holds for me

If only I could see into the future
It would make my choosing easier
To remain on the path of safety
Or seize the path of fulfillment

Jesus, The Teacher

Disciples of Jesus, then and now, call him Teacher. Some even call him “The Great Teacher”. I didn’t really grasp the meaning of that title until I grew too old for Sunday school. Back then, I thought people called him teacher because he taught them the Torah. I thought it was because he would preach in the temple, on boats, and to millions of people. I thought it was because he was able to explain the Word of God in a manner that could be understood by the masses. He was able to reach people at all levels through his parables. Through his stories, he was able to breathe life into the dead words of the Law.

The more I looked at Jesus and the way he approached life—his dedication to and development of relationships, his unwavering focus to his personal mission, his compassion and healing capacity—the more I realize he’s called The Great Teacher, not because of the lessons he taught to the masses, but because of the lessons he taught to those closest to him—those who knew him best, those he called friends. His lessons were meant for—not the masses, not the faceless crowds—but those he loved.

He offered himself to those who journeyed with him. Knowing that he would be opening himself to denial, betrayal, rejection, and ridicule by those closest to him, he offered his whole self, nonetheless. They were given unrestricted access to him—to eat with him, to sleep under his protection, to share his work, to talk with him, to simply be with him—to be given his time and attention.

His gift to them was himself. He was loyal, dedicated, stable, caring, compassionate, attentive, reassuring, and forgiving. His inner core was based on secure values and principles. He held on to his character and principles to his death, in the face of ridicule and betrayal—in the face of others’ doubts, and of his own self-doubts.

Those closest to him were given insight to his nature and this inner core. He invited them to follow him, to attach themselves to him, to develop a close relationship with him, to be loved by him. He promised to always be with them, without expecting the same promise from them. They felt what it was like to be a friend of his.

Even with all of that, they couldn’t understand him any better than we can; and many did not agree with his teachings or his methods. But nonetheless, they were given the gift of his friendship and love. What they chose to do with that gift was up to them.

The deepness of his love was too much for many to accept—too much to understand. His love was treated as a burden rather than as the gift it was meant to be. Some couldn’t see the gift for what it was, so they discarded it on the side of the road. Some saw the love in his message but found it to be too hard to live by it, so they gave up on the journey. Some wanted the gift but were afraid of what they had to give up to receive it. Some wanted the gift, but were unwilling to trade his love for the security that they had already built up. Some gladly took the gift when things were going well, but gave it back when things weren’t going well—or when things weren’t going the way that they thought they should be going. [The Parable of the Sower, Mt 13.1-17; Mk 4.1-9,13-20; Lk 8.4-8, 11-15]

Although he was surrounded by many followers, he was alone. Even though he viewed all around him as his friends, he could not trust them to be there for him—not even his inner circle and closest confidants. He had no one to turn to in his time of need.

This fact was difficult because it meant that he had to develop independence in mind and body, while cultivating an endless-giving spirit. He taught us to give without expecting to receive anything in return.

His life was one big lesson. He didn’t just say, “Love one another.” He said, “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Peace*

Peace I leave with you, my friends.
Peace the world cannot give.
Peace I leave with you, my friends,
So that your joy be ever full.

The Father’s love I came to give,
To be the hope for all who live.
Take His gift and be at peace;
The Spirit of our love I bring.

By this love which you should have,
All will know you are my friends.
Take my words of life to heart,
And you will live with hope and joy.

All I have I give to you;
I share with you the Father’s love.
I came so that you may have life,
And have it to the full.

If you love me, keep my word,
And our home we’ll make with you.

Peace I leave with you, my friends.
Peace the world cannot give.
Peace I leave with you, my friends,
So that your joy be ever full.


*Text –Gregory Norbet, OSB

This Is All I Need To Know

How do I find myself in this place?
I took the path you chose for me
I followed your lead
And look at where I am

I did what you told me to do
I gave them my heart and soul
I gave them my life
And they still resist the power of love

They question my motives
They question my sincerity
They question my life
They question Your existence

But my place is not to question
My place it to follow
I do not need to know how or why I’m here
I just need to know that this is where I’m meant to be

This is all I need to know

Don’t Stop the Children

I know to you they are noise and nuisances
And you’re trying to protect me from their chatter
But don’t stop the children from coming

Let the children come to me
They come with open arms, open hearts, open minds
They come to me for love and nothing more

Don’t stop the children from coming
I am not too tired for those who love me
For those who want to be with me
For those who want to hold me
For those who want to be hugged

Let the children come to me
They come with soothing arms, innocent hearts, accepting minds
They come to me for love and nothing more

Don’t stop the children from coming
They fill me up with the strength I need to continue
They are the only ones who see me for who I am
They are the only ones with whom I can be free

Let the children come to me
They come with smiling eyes, laughing faces, loving souls
They come to me for love and nothing more

Don’t stop the children from coming
They give me back what I have lost
They bring me back to my happiest times
They carry me home to a place of love

Let the children come to me
They carry with them no sadness, no fears, no hate
They come to me for love and nothing more

No. Don’t stop the children from coming

A Vision of Faith

A little girl was roaming the church waiting for her mother to finish the rosary. The set routine was always: attend Mass; wait for Mom to finish the rosary; stop off and pick up something for dinner; and get home in time to watch her favorite show.

The little girl had plenty of things to keep her busy while she waited. If the church couldn’t hold her attention, she could always bother her sisters enough to have Dad pull everyone outside to wait. That was always the “out”.

But the church itself could hold a child’s attention for hours. It was a huge building, with high ceilings, plenty of places to hide, and plenty of things to see. It was filled with huge statues, massive marble pillars, stained glass windows, intriguing Stations of the Cross positioned all around the church, wooden pews that little kids could hide under, and candles (REAL candles strategically set throughout the church) that added to the various shadows and smells of the place. Everywhere and anywhere she looked, there was something to see. She could look up to the dome, twirling herself around until all the colors merged together. She could walk along the sides of the church, running her hand over the grates under the stained glass windows, feeling the warmth of the heating system. Sometimes, when the choir loft was opened, she would climb up for a bird’s eye view of everything, trying to pick out each member of the family, as they roamed around the church.

This day she stayed grounded and concentrated on the huge crucifix at the front of the church. She knelt in front of it to get a closer look. She started from the bottom: the huge rock with all its unevenness; the wood of the cross dug into the rock; the flesh color tones of the feet nailed into the cross; the nail, itself, protruding from the feet, dried blood over the toes. She continued to look up—bony knees and hips. She was able to count the ribs and see the cut on his side.

As she kept looking up, she wondered why He let this happen. She looked at the nail in the palm, to see if it matched the one in his feet. It did. She went back to his hand and followed the arm to his face. When she got to his face, he was looking at her, with a soft and loving smile—the kind parents give as they brush the hair away from the eyes of a sleeping child.

“OK—wait a minute,” she thought to herself. She looked around to see if anyone else saw what she saw. No one was around. She rubbed her eyes and looked up again. He was still smiling down at her. She rubbed again. He was still smiling.

“What do I do now?” If she ran to find someone, the statue would return to normal. She instinctively knew that. The only other choice was to stay there in the shadow of that smile.

Suddenly the spell was broken. Voices came at her from all sides. She turned around to see that Mom had finished and it was time to go. She turned back to the statue. It had returned to normal, but she was satisfied. Her question was answered.

Why did He do it? Because He loves us.

.

He Who Walks Alone

Can we truly comprehend how lonely and frustrated Jesus must have been in his adult life? He was constantly surrounded by people, yet separated from everyone — utterly alone.

• Only his mother understood that he was born for a special purpose, but then again, all mothers feel that way about their children. Who would pay attention to such a woman in the first place?

• Although he had many friends and followers, there was no one there to listen to his worries, his thoughts, his soul. All were there to listen to his words — interpreting his message to fit their meaning; therefore, there was no one who truly understood him enough to be able to comfort him.

• Everyone adored this new charismatic Leader, until he said something or did something that hit too close to home. Then, in their need to protect themselves, they lashed out and condemned him.

• Yes. He was surrounded by friends and followers. These men were men who gave up everything to follow a dream of a better way of life. They saw Jesus as the path to their religious and political freedom. Through him, they saw a New Order in which they would become major players.

• In their zeal for power, they tried to persuade Jesus to do things differently — to do it "their way." They all knew better ways of getting the job done. There was the educated man (i.e., Judas) who was very willing, waiting, and wanting to direct Jesus on his path to greatness. Imagine how frustrated Judas must have been when Jesus surrounded himself with the lowly and the poor, and associated himself with the uneducated (i.e., fishermen). To be overlooked and passed over for a lowly fisherman (i.e., Peter)! Can you imagine how insulted and angry Judas must have been— to have to endure that insult on a daily basis?

• The disciples of Jesus constantly doubted his methods and actions. Even when miracle after miracle were performed in their sights, they doubted Jesus was the Messiah.

• On the night before he died, it was so clear how alone Jesus was. He had no one within his band of close confidants to talk to about what he was going through. No one understood the meaning behind their journey. As he prayed, there was no one there to wipe away his tears of blood. No one could understand the path that he was on. He could only turn to His Father in heaven — weeping for comfort, but feeling none.

• No one in his band stood up for him. All it took was a confrontation to turn their faces and faith away from Jesus. The one he placed his hopes on (i.e., Peter) denied him three times on the night that started it all.

• Yes, these were the men Jesus had to work with — had to mold in his image — had to trust to carry on his work to generations to come, once he was gone. These were the men he had to place his faith in, to carry on the mission for which he was to die. These were the men who followed him. It was too late to pick better men — and much too late to turn back now.

Looking back, it is surprising how much more faith Jesus had in these ordinary and flawed men than these men had in him. It’s truly amazing that Jesus’ message lives on and that Christianity is the major religion in the world.

It is incredible what one man can accomplish — all alone.

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Phantom Love

People laugh at me

They scoff at me

They call me naïve and needy

They say I cling to images and phantoms

They tell me you are not real

You were merely created as a coping device

They say you only exist in my mind

Your comforting presence I feel isn’t real

The essence of you does not exist

I only imagine the love I long for

Because I’m not strong enough to actually possess it

I’m not intelligent enough to actually grasp the concept

I’m simply don’t feel enough to actually appreciate it

They tell me to place my faith in them instead

To seek the love in them and follow their ways instead of yours

They are here; they are real

They have real arms to hold and real hearts to love

They are the ones I should place my hope in

Yes, they are as real to me as you are

Their arms are real

Their words are real

Their touch is real

But their words turn cold and killing

When they feel their own pain

Their arms push away more than they hold

Their love burns when it turns to hate

So, I run to you for solace when they run away

I turn to you for love when they turn me away

I seek for your peace when mine is stripped away

Yes, I do cling to your presence

Your love surrounds me more than theirs can

Your essence comforts me more than they can

So, let them laugh at me

Let them scoff at me

I may be naïve and needy in their eyes

But it’s the only way for me to survive

When there are so many of them in this world