With no Shepherd to carry me home
I’m a lost sheep among the wolves
So frightened that I cannot move
So cold that I cannot feel
I have no idea what direction I should head
Because I have no idea what I’m doing
I turn one way one day; then another way the next
Never staying on one road long enough to see where it leads
Day after day, I look for the right path
But each day sends me in a different direction
I’m constantly moving but going nowhere
I’m seeking a purpose but finding only despair
I’m not strong enough to find my way alone
I don’t trust enough to ask for help
I don’t believe enough to turn to You
With no Shepherd to carry me home
I’m a lost sheep among the wolves
So frightened that I cannot move
So cold that I cannot feel
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Peace Be With You
“What are we going to do now? Just hide in here for the rest of our lives?”
“No. Everything will calm down soon enough. Once this becomes yesterday news, and everyone forgets about what happened, then we can go about our business and return to what we were before all this madness started.”
“How long will that take?”
“Not long. You know how fickle people are. They get caught up with one fad, then grow tired of it, and move on to another. Heck, we fell for it, didn’t we? Soon he will be old news, nothing more than a memory, a joke, a ghost.”
“No! Jesus was no joke. He is real. He is the Messiah. Mary told us he has risen. I believe her!”
“John, stop it! You’re as mad as she is—wanting to believe in him so badly, you suspend all reality!! She’s a woman. She is delusional. We can’t believe a word she says. Yes, he’s been taken from the tomb, but that doesn’t mean that he has risen. She didn’t see what she claims to have seen! She couldn’t have! He’s dead! He’s not coming back!”
“No! He was real. He is real! Peter! You knew he was the Messiah. You said so yourself!!!”
“Shut up! Shut up! I was wrong! Is that what you want to hear me say!!! I was wrong!!! There, I said it!! He was just a man and nothing more. He talked a good game. He made us believe in him. He made us want something better. He made us believe that we could have a better life by following him. We left all we had to follow him. But it was all talk. He had no power to change the world as he claimed. If he had, he would still be here…among us, but he’s not. He was just a man—no one special. Best that we just forget all about him, and go back to the way things were before this madness started.”
“Peace be with you……. What, no greetings for me? ….. ah….Still bickering I see. Have you forgotten me already? Didn’t Mary tell you I had returned?”
“Yes, but…..”
“Ah…I understand…You didn’t believe her. She told me you wouldn’t.”
“Yes, but…”
“Hush now. Why are you troubled? Why do questions arise in your hearts? Calm yourself. Do not be afraid. I bring you peace.”
“Yes, but….”
“Come. Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I. Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you can see I have.”
“Yes, but….”
“Ah….I understand….Let’s start over…..Peace be with you.”
“No. Everything will calm down soon enough. Once this becomes yesterday news, and everyone forgets about what happened, then we can go about our business and return to what we were before all this madness started.”
“How long will that take?”
“Not long. You know how fickle people are. They get caught up with one fad, then grow tired of it, and move on to another. Heck, we fell for it, didn’t we? Soon he will be old news, nothing more than a memory, a joke, a ghost.”
“No! Jesus was no joke. He is real. He is the Messiah. Mary told us he has risen. I believe her!”
“John, stop it! You’re as mad as she is—wanting to believe in him so badly, you suspend all reality!! She’s a woman. She is delusional. We can’t believe a word she says. Yes, he’s been taken from the tomb, but that doesn’t mean that he has risen. She didn’t see what she claims to have seen! She couldn’t have! He’s dead! He’s not coming back!”
“No! He was real. He is real! Peter! You knew he was the Messiah. You said so yourself!!!”
“Shut up! Shut up! I was wrong! Is that what you want to hear me say!!! I was wrong!!! There, I said it!! He was just a man and nothing more. He talked a good game. He made us believe in him. He made us want something better. He made us believe that we could have a better life by following him. We left all we had to follow him. But it was all talk. He had no power to change the world as he claimed. If he had, he would still be here…among us, but he’s not. He was just a man—no one special. Best that we just forget all about him, and go back to the way things were before this madness started.”
“Peace be with you……. What, no greetings for me? ….. ah….Still bickering I see. Have you forgotten me already? Didn’t Mary tell you I had returned?”
“Yes, but…..”
“Ah…I understand…You didn’t believe her. She told me you wouldn’t.”
“Yes, but…”
“Hush now. Why are you troubled? Why do questions arise in your hearts? Calm yourself. Do not be afraid. I bring you peace.”
“Yes, but….”
“Come. Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I. Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you can see I have.”
“Yes, but….”
“Ah….I understand….Let’s start over…..Peace be with you.”
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Promise
“Mary, why are you crying so?”
“Where are you? I can hear you, but I can’t see you.”
“Over here. Turn around.”
“It’s so good to hear your voice again, to see you, to be with you, to be able to hold you again.... I was afraid I had lost you. I was with you when they tortured you; when they crucified you; when they took you down from the cross; when they buried you—and I’m here now. Through all that, even though I never left your side, I felt you slipping away. I felt that I was losing you. I’m still afraid I’ve lost you. Don’t leave me.”
“Believe me when I tell you that I could feel you with me every step of the way. I knew you were with me. Also believe me when I tell you that I would love to hold you to prove to you that I am here...that I am real…. but I can’t do that right now— but I am here. I am real. I kept my promise to you. I will always be with you. Now, go tell the others that I have returned.”
“I don’t want to leave you. I want to stay in your presence. I want to stay with you. I want to follow you wherever you go. You know that is all I want to do—to be with you. I don’t want to leave your side, ever again.”
“I know that, but you can’t follow me this time. I must go on by myself, but I will return again. Believe me when I tell you that we will always be together. I will never leave you alone. But now, I need you to go and tell the others that I have returned.”
“Don’t send me away! I want to be with you. I don’t care about anything else. Besides, it is waste of time to send me to tell them. They may not even let me in. They’ve locked themselves up in the Upper Room. They are afraid for themselves. The world has turned against us. Even if they do let me in, they will not listen to me. They will think I’ve gone mad—that in my grief, I only imagined you. No. It is waste of time to send me to tell them. Let me follow you and be with you instead. They won’t believe me. They will just laugh at me and pity me. I am but a weak, fragile woman to them. They do not see me; they do not hear me; they will not believe me. No. They will not believe your news coming from me. Let me stay with you. They will not believe me.”
“Ah, I understand….but go and try anyway…for me… and Mary?”
“Yes, my Lord?”
“Do you believe in me?”
“I love you. Of course, I believe in you!”
“Ah….Then all I went through was not in vain…..and, Mary?”
“Yes, my Lord?”
“Promise me that you’ll always love me and believe in me. Promise me that you won’t let them forget me.”
“I will always love you and believe in you. I will not let them forget you….and, Lord?”
“Yes, Mary.”
“Promise me the same.”
“I will always love you, always believe in you, and will never forget you. I will always be with you.”
Given The Choice
I heard that my cousin was arrested
Because he rebuked Herod and his ways
I could have counseled John to quiet his voice
It was within my power to save him from death
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
News of Lazarus’s illness reached me
Mary and Martha wanted me to rush to their aid
I ignored their pleas and stayed two days longer where I was
It was within my power to save Lazarus from death
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I knew my teachings would upset the chief priests and the Pharisees
They had power to silence me as Herod had silenced John
My simple message would dethrone their power over the people
They could not let me live if they were to retain their political position
It was within my power to change my message
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
How could I have not known of the plot to kill me?!
I drew great crowds and raised their spirits and hopes
I promised them a better life through me
I agitated the high priests and Pharisees with such talk
I pitted brother against brother with such rhetoric
It was within my power to change my campaign
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I saw what was in Judas’ soul
I saw his longing to be seen and be in charge
I knew what he was capable of
It was within my power to save Judas from himself
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I knew as the night drew near that this was the night
I knew another way out of the garden of Gethsemane
I didn’t have to fulfill the scriptures—to be captured and killed
It was within my power to slip away through the darkness
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I was handed over and questioned by Pilate
He wanted to save me from the chief priests, from the crowds
He wanted to save me from myself....and to save himself
He truly thought he had the power to save me from being crucified
If only I would give him something to help clear my name
It was within my power to help him save me
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I was taken to the Place of the Skull and crucified
I suffered, died, and was buried
You can never imagine the ridicule, abandonment, and pain
That I endured during those last hours
It was within my power to change my course many times
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
Because he rebuked Herod and his ways
I could have counseled John to quiet his voice
It was within my power to save him from death
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
News of Lazarus’s illness reached me
Mary and Martha wanted me to rush to their aid
I ignored their pleas and stayed two days longer where I was
It was within my power to save Lazarus from death
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I knew my teachings would upset the chief priests and the Pharisees
They had power to silence me as Herod had silenced John
My simple message would dethrone their power over the people
They could not let me live if they were to retain their political position
It was within my power to change my message
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
How could I have not known of the plot to kill me?!
I drew great crowds and raised their spirits and hopes
I promised them a better life through me
I agitated the high priests and Pharisees with such talk
I pitted brother against brother with such rhetoric
It was within my power to change my campaign
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I saw what was in Judas’ soul
I saw his longing to be seen and be in charge
I knew what he was capable of
It was within my power to save Judas from himself
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I knew as the night drew near that this was the night
I knew another way out of the garden of Gethsemane
I didn’t have to fulfill the scriptures—to be captured and killed
It was within my power to slip away through the darkness
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I was handed over and questioned by Pilate
He wanted to save me from the chief priests, from the crowds
He wanted to save me from myself....and to save himself
He truly thought he had the power to save me from being crucified
If only I would give him something to help clear my name
It was within my power to help him save me
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
I was taken to the Place of the Skull and crucified
I suffered, died, and was buried
You can never imagine the ridicule, abandonment, and pain
That I endured during those last hours
It was within my power to change my course many times
But I didn’t choose to
I just let it happen
Mary's Pain
She watched him die. She saw him humiliated, spat on, degraded, and beaten. She felt his suffering in every step he took to his death. She watched him being tortured. She had to stand there and watch him be brutally murdered. She was helpless to prevent it—helpless to stop it.
Mary’s Pain
I’m at a loss
I need you to tell me what I should do
What can I do to help you
All I know is that I NEED to DO something!!!
Tell me the right words to say and I’ll say them
Tell me the right actions to do and I’ll do them
Show me the right feelings to share and I’ll share them
Give me the guidance and wisdom to help
Give me the secret to bring you out of this
But you tell me there is nothing TO do
There is nothing I can say
There is nothing I can do
I am helpless to help
I’m powerless to change things
All of this is out of my control
Even so, I don’t want you to go through this alone
I see the suffering, the heartache, the torture
It’s written on your face
Pouring from your eyes
Etched in your soul
Your pain is too much for me to bear
I want all this to stop
Not only for you but for me
I’m afraid I won’t be able to survive this
I can’t stand here and watch you die
I’m at a loss
I stand here wanting to take the pain away
Wanting to heal your hurt
I feel so betrayed by my own inability to stop this!
I just can’t accept that there’s nothing I can do
I won’t accept that; I can’t accept that!
There must be something I can do!!!
There MUST BE!!!
My God! My God!
Give me the right words to say and I’ll say them
Give me the right actions to do and I’ll do them
Give me the right feelings to share and I’ll share them
Give me the guidance and wisdom to help
Give me the secret to save Your Son!!
Mary’s Pain
I’m at a loss
I need you to tell me what I should do
What can I do to help you
All I know is that I NEED to DO something!!!
Tell me the right words to say and I’ll say them
Tell me the right actions to do and I’ll do them
Show me the right feelings to share and I’ll share them
Give me the guidance and wisdom to help
Give me the secret to bring you out of this
But you tell me there is nothing TO do
There is nothing I can say
There is nothing I can do
I am helpless to help
I’m powerless to change things
All of this is out of my control
Even so, I don’t want you to go through this alone
I see the suffering, the heartache, the torture
It’s written on your face
Pouring from your eyes
Etched in your soul
Your pain is too much for me to bear
I want all this to stop
Not only for you but for me
I’m afraid I won’t be able to survive this
I can’t stand here and watch you die
I’m at a loss
I stand here wanting to take the pain away
Wanting to heal your hurt
I feel so betrayed by my own inability to stop this!
I just can’t accept that there’s nothing I can do
I won’t accept that; I can’t accept that!
There must be something I can do!!!
There MUST BE!!!
My God! My God!
Give me the right words to say and I’ll say them
Give me the right actions to do and I’ll do them
Give me the right feelings to share and I’ll share them
Give me the guidance and wisdom to help
Give me the secret to save Your Son!!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Judas’ Last Thoughts
How could I have done what I did?
How can I undo what has been done?
It was all a mistake
This is not what I had planned
How will anyone believe me now?
I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These thoughts in my head
I still can’t see where I went wrong
I really thought I was helping him
I thought I knew more than he did
How could I have been so wrong?
I just want all this to end
I need these voices inside my head
To stop echoing my father’s voice
I can hear him spitting at me
You’re a disappointment!
You’ll never be good enough!
You’re a failure, a joke, a loser!
I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These voices in my head
I can’t stop this pulsing pain
I can't see straight; I can't think
I feel like I’m lost in a world
Where only darkness reigns
Misunderstood; disconnected
Abandoned; lost; alone
Cut off from friends, family...life
Full of regret; void of hope
Nothing matters anymore
I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These voices in my head
Never mind…
I can make the voices stop
How can I undo what has been done?
It was all a mistake
This is not what I had planned
How will anyone believe me now?
I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These thoughts in my head
I still can’t see where I went wrong
I really thought I was helping him
I thought I knew more than he did
How could I have been so wrong?
I just want all this to end
I need these voices inside my head
To stop echoing my father’s voice
I can hear him spitting at me
You’re a disappointment!
You’ll never be good enough!
You’re a failure, a joke, a loser!
I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These voices in my head
I can’t stop this pulsing pain
I can't see straight; I can't think
I feel like I’m lost in a world
Where only darkness reigns
Misunderstood; disconnected
Abandoned; lost; alone
Cut off from friends, family...life
Full of regret; void of hope
Nothing matters anymore
I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These voices in my head
Never mind…
I can make the voices stop
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