Judas’ Last Thoughts

How could I have done what I did?
How can I undo what has been done?
It was all a mistake
This is not what I had planned
How will anyone believe me now?

I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These thoughts in my head

I still can’t see where I went wrong
I really thought I was helping him
I thought I knew more than he did
How could I have been so wrong?

I just want all this to end
I need these voices inside my head
To stop echoing my father’s voice

I can hear him spitting at me
You’re a disappointment!
You’ll never be good enough!
You’re a failure, a joke, a loser!

I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These voices in my head

I can’t stop this pulsing pain
I can't see straight; I can't think
I feel like I’m lost in a world
Where only darkness reigns

Misunderstood; disconnected
Abandoned; lost; alone
Cut off from friends, family...life
Full of regret; void of hope
Nothing matters anymore

I just want all this to end
Tell me how to quiet
These voices in my head

Never mind…

I can make the voices stop